• Dakota Rebel

Are you secretly an asshole?

And by secretly, I mean, does everyone know this but you?

I'm not saying you're a mean person. I'm not even specifically calling YOU an asshole. I'm just wondering if you are aware of how others perceive you...especially your attitude.

No one thinks of themselves as a Debbie Downer. But one of the things I stress to women as much as possible, is the importance of positive speaking.

If you are constantly complaining, always finding the wrong or the difficult or the suck in every situation, pretty soon, people are going to stop trying to bring you into conversations. And it's easy to fall into this line of speaking. It's like quick sand. Once you're in can be really difficult to drag yourself out.

Trust me when I tell you, I speak from a world of experience on this one.

At my day job, things felt about as bad as they could be. Sales were down, people were being laid off and our boss was M.I.A., in and out of the hospital battling cancer. It was a WORLD of suck. Without even realizing it, my coworkers and I began to complain...about EVERYTHING. It was too hot, too cold, the customers were dumb, the vendors were useless, the office was dirty, the air was asbestos and bleach. Just everything.

It got to the point that I was called out in a review and told that people were actively requesting to move out of our bullpen because they couldn't stand to be around us anymore. We were creating our own toxic work environment. 

What we saw as commiserating, was actually just making everything ten times worse than they ever should have been. If we had all focused on positive thinking at that time, if we'd made a conscious effort to stop bitching and moaning and start looking at silver linings, everyone's lives would have been better. We could have improved the entire situation just by watching our damn mouths.

Look, I don't expect you to be all puppies and rainbows twenty-four hours a day. Sometimes, shit really does suck. There's no escaping it. 

What I do expect, is that you limit the amount of time you allow yourself to wallow. That silver lining you always hear about? Well, that's the rope you can grip onto to pull yourself out of the muck and back on solid ground. 

I know it sounds hokey, but half the shit I say on here sounds hokey. You come here for hokey. I'm like your fortune cookie fortune of positive thinking. 

Don't let a bad five minutes ruin your day. Those bad days turn to weeks, months and before you know it, you've just spent a whole year absolutely miserable over one small snowflake that you let turn into a fucking avalanche of despair. Stop doing this to yourself. It is not serving you, or anyone else. 

Stop being an asshole.

This has been your public service announcement from Dakota Rebel. 

Think powerful thoughts, Buttercup. People are watching.

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