• Dakota Rebel

The difference between giving yourself "Grace" and being a Slackass.

My husband asked me if I was going on my long run today, and I told him to cut me some slack. Which is 1984 speak for "I'm not running today, because I ran a half marathon last Sunday and I'm giving myself a little grace."

Giving yourself grace is important. And there are legitimate times and places where it is needed. But this phrase is quickly becoming a catch all excuse for anything you don't want to do, or wasn't able to accomplish in a timely manner.

And the kick to the nuts part of it is, this is a socially acceptable excuse.

"Give yourself some grace" should mean, if you are in the middle of a terribly difficult season, you shouldn't beat yourself up for not killing it in every single aspect of your life. If you're going through a divorce, if you've suffered a loss, if you're injured...these are the times you need to give yourself some grace and not expect to be "on" to please everyone else.

What it should NOT mean, is if your kid is wearing the same sweat pants for the third day in row, you've just ordered pizza for the fourth time this week and you can't remember the last time you've kissed your husband on the mouth, that you should "give yourself some grace" because being a mom is hard.


I mean, yeah, being a mom is hard. But you still have to keep up with basic human decencies like laundry, and nutrition and paying attention to your relationships.

Come. On. Now.

Look, I'm an author, a CEO, a corporate lackey, a coach, the mom of a special needs son, a wife, and I'm training for a marathon. Do I "Give myself some grace?" Sure. I'm not 100% in all of those things all the time. But I can promise you that I don't use having a hectic life as an excuse to get absolutely nothing done. I still go to the day job every day, and sometimes on Saturdays. I still write and edit and format and advertise books. I still show up for my marriage in an intentional way.

Where exactly do I give myself grace? Well, today I was formatting my newsletter and researching how to grow my reach and my son asked me to play a game with him. So, the laptop got closed and I spent an hour getting my ass kicked in Wii Party.

THIS is grace. Did I get to cross newsletter off my to-do list today? No, I did not. But that doesn't mean it just doesn't get done. That means it gets moved. Maybe I'll stay up a little later tonight. Maybe I'll research on the phone during my lunch hour. It will get done. But in that moment, I gave myself the grace of putting it off to goof around with my son.

What I'm saying is, there is a time and a place and a TIME LIMIT on giving yourself grace. Yes, it can be necessary, just don't let it turn into laziness and apathy.

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