Where I'm Coming From
At my heaviest, non-pregnancy weight, I was 210 pounds.
Writing that number seems so foreign to me. I mean, I definitely remember being that heavy. How could I forget? I was married at that weight. I got pregnant at that weight and ballooned up further. I was eating for two LONG before I started actually eating for two.
*Disclaimer again - Anything that I say in this blog pertains to me, and me only. There are people who may appear "overweight" but are far healthier than I am now. Nothing I say refers to anyone other than myself. There is no way for me to talk about my journey without discussing my health and my unhappiness at a weight that is perfectly acceptable for others. Don't @ me.
I, personally, was not healthy at this weight. I was always sore, couldn't walk far or run or take stairs without getting winded. MY body, was not built to handle the weight that was, truly, excess on me.
Once my son was born, I decided to focus more on my health. I wanted to feel comfortable in photos with him, (Spoiler alert, I still don't, but that's me.) I wanted to be able to run and play and do all the things he wanted me to do with him.
So, I changed my diet. I stopped eating whole Hot 'n Ready pizzas. I stopped getting a sampler platter AND an entree. I learned hunger cues and taught myself to stop eating out of boredom or sadness or anger.
And I dropped sixty pounds over the course of two years. Then I started to run.
My dudes, running was like the magic bullet for me. I have never in my life felt better than
after a 15 mile run. Seriously. The fact that I could run that kind of distance was absolutely stunning.
And I was 140 pounds. The smallest I had ever been. The healthiest I'd ever felt in my entire life.
Yeah, I was the asshole who talked about running nonstop. But I just felt, and honestly, looked so damn good at the time, I wanted to share it with everyone. I was training for a marathon and I felt on top of the world.
Then I got injured.
When I recovered, I made excuses not to start again. I hadn't put on that much weight. I didn't want to hurt myself again. It was too cold. Too hot. Too scary. Whatever. They were excuses...and they won.
Do I have a point? Yeah, I do. I'm getting there now.
That was two years ago. And I've done pretty much fuck-all since.
I didn't go back to my pre-baby weight or anything. Like I mentioned in my previous post, I've only put like 10 pounds back on in all that time.
But my body got softer. I still eat foods that react badly with my body. I've fallen back into some of the old habits, and worse, the old mindsets.
I knew I needed to find something that would help me get healthy habits going again. I needed a routine, something measurable that I could track. Something that could make the best out of my competitiveness.
And I stumbled across something called Carb Cycling.
The super simple, dumbest-downed way I can describe it is that you alternate high carb days and low carb days. It does require tracking, but if you know me, you know I thrive on anything I can color code in a planner.
There is soooo much information online about this kind of eating. There are different ways to do it, different percentages, different thoughts and feelings and results.
I decided to take the easiest route. Every other day. And I alternate my percentages.
And last week, I lost 4 pounds.
Day One - High Carb Day - 1800 Calories - 40% Protein / 40% Carbs / 20% Fat
Day Two- Low Carb Day - 1800 Calories - 40% Protein / 20% Carbs / 40% Fat
That's it. I alternate those percentages every day.
I track my food in My Fitness Pal (free app), and every morning I change my daily goal percentages to match the plan.
The theory is that your body won't plateau as fast, because you aren't placating it with one single eating pattern. By alternating high/low carbs, your body stays confused and just continues to burn what it needs as fuel.
Obviously, it's not just the food. I also need to work out. Moving my body has always proven to help my mood, but it's so damn easy to forget that sometimes. I don't always know I'm falling into old patterns until someone else points it out to me. Even if I spend three days straight on the couch watching YouTube, I don't see it.
Fortunately, my friends and family have put up with me for a good long while, and they tend to know what I need.
For Christmas, my husband bought me the Ring Fit for our Switch, and I can torch 300-400 calories in an hour just playing a video game. It's so much fun.
I also do YouTube workouts and rando HiiT at home stuff to get my blood flowing and the sweat pouring.
Since everyone loves a good sports bra photo...there I am. That's pretty much what I look like right now. After all these years, after everything I've tried, this is a pretty positive "Before" photo.
For the record, I know that I'm not "fat"...whatever the hell that even means. But I feel that way. I'm unhappy with how I feel, and that is what I'm trying to change.
I believe you can love yourself, and still want to feel better. This isn't about a "goal weight" for me. This is about changing my body into something that works like it should, and makes me happy. Makes me proud.
When I look at that picture, I want nothing more than to delete it. I can't believe I'm going to let the internet see me that way. But it's who I am right now. And when I tone up, that will be who I am then.
We only get the one body in this life. I just want to start taking better care of mine.
That was a long winded post. Lol. Most of them will probably be that way. I'll share pictures of my planner pages, my progress, and my numbers. *GULP. I will be dead honest here, tell you what I'm doing for myself. Please, be respectful in return.